Dark Blue
by BitterIris
Summary: Hikaru, son of Sasuke, is on a journey to find out his roots. All he knows is that he the son of a criminal who gave him up to his old teacher. He's seen Sasuke around the village but can't bring himself to speak to him. Instead he goes to ask other's for information on his mother. What happens when he finally finds out the truth about his birth and his father?
1. Far Away

Making yourself breathe when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and die is one of the hardest things to do. But I had to act like everything was fine right now, like I didn't want to hide in one of the corner's of this poorly lit bar and cry myself into a coma. The lights might have actually been brighter than I was seeing them, but the smoke filling the air from cigarettes and cigars mixing with my depressed mood seemed to make everything around me dull. Why did this have to be the meet up place for something that was just going to be an annoyance? Why couldn't I go back to a week ago before my life made a complete u-turn and I found out the last 16 years had been a complete lie.

Inhale...

Maybe if I didn't pester father about it or scream so loud when my eyes turned red I would have been able to keep that wish. I couldn't change the fact that it happened though; I was an Uchiha by blood after all.

I was told of a man I could talk to that would be able to tell me more about my biological father after he had left the village, and that I could find him hanging out here. I didn't really care too much for that. I wanted to know who my mother was; the entire world knew the story of my father and how he tried destroying the village. How even though he fought along side the man who took care of me and his old team he turned out to be nothing more than a trader. I gripped the cold call of water in front of me letting the condensation rundown my fingertips as I tried to push the thoughts of who that man was. Sasuke Uchiha…

Exhale...

"Hikaru?"

I look up to see a older man with white hair that rested on his shoulders and a shark tooth grin on his face. He has a kind face but there's a hint of mischievousness that lingers in his eyes. "You must be Suigetsu…" I stand up, reaching my hand out to shake his.

He grips my hand and pulls me against him as if we had known each other for years. A small laugh leaves his mouth as he messes up my raven hair. "You really do look just like your old man. If I didn't know better I would think I was having a flashback to when Sasuke was 16."

Breathe Hikaru…

As soon as he lets me go I stand up straight, fixing my hair and the collar on my shirt. The man places a long sword down next to a chair as he takes it, his bright purple eyes looking at me. "What can I do for you?"

Suddenly, my throat feels dry. I sit and pick up my glass, bringing it to my lips and taking a long sip from it before returning it to the small ring of water that it left on the table to mark it's spot. "I came to ask you a few questions… regarding my mother."

Suigetsu raised his eyebrow and shook his head a bit. "I'm sorry but I don't actually know who that was. Our group thought it was Karin when he told us that he might have a child but... well much to her disappointment it wasn't."

Inhale… Exhale…

"So you all knew of me before I was born?"

"That's right! But we didn't get a chance to meet you… Sasuke told that teacher of his… What's his name again?"

"Kakashi… The man who has been my father for the past 16 years."

"Yeah him! The silver hair guy with the mask! He wanted him to watch over you…"

"Why? Sasuke was going to betray the village!"

Suigetsu pauses for a moment, his hands fidgeting in front of him. "I'm sorry… I don't know the answer to that either…" He looks up at me again. "Hikaru, I want you to know your father wasn't as bad as people paint him out to be. Honestly. He was actually a great friend and amazing leader to us! I ju-"

"I know…" I look down at my own hand, shaking a bit on the table. "Naruto told me plenty of stories from when they were children, just out of the academy. He told me about their fights and adventures the both of them had together along with Kakashi and Sakura. He speaks very highly of him, like he places Sasuke on a pedestal."

"That sounds like that knucklehead… He never did stop chasing after Sasuke…"

"He still is."

I look up to see Suigetsu staring at me, a puzzled look on his face. "Sasuke's back in the village… Isn't he?"

"Yeah… I saw him. I… I just…"

"I know. It must be hard to approach someone who not only gave you up but is shunned by the village."

"I don't know why they let him back in…"

"No one really does besides Naruto."

"Lord Hokage didn't tell me much about it when I had asked."

A chuckle left Suigetsu's lips. "So that little brat finally got his wish."

I nod. Suigetsu raises from his seat and lifts up his sword, placing it over his shoulder. "I'm sorry I'm not of much help. You should head home now though… Try talking to Sasuke."

"Thank you…" I stand, turning my back to him and starting to head towards the door.

"Oh and Hikaru!" I turn to see Suigetsu rubbing his hand on the back of his head and smiling. "It was nice to finally meet you! If you do talk to him, tell him I said hi!"

I smile back and give a slight nod, turning around heading out the door and towards Konoha.


	2. Emotion

A strong breeze blows by my window, pulling my bangs over the front of my face. I watch the people wandering down the street knowing that soon he's going to pass my window and look up at me again. I thought it was weird as a child how he would always do that, look up at my window as he passed by, but I know now he must have been checking on me to see how I had been growing.

_I wonder if he would be proud of how I've turned out…_

I shake the thought from my head and continue looking down. It doesn't matter what he thinks about me or how I turned out. For all I care he can think I turned out to be a rotten child who didn't try hard enough and I'm a disgrace to our family name.

Family name… I look down at my window sill and see the small crest sitting there. I usually had the keychain on my hip; father wanted me to have it there since I could remember but I didn't know why until now. It was so I would have a bit of the identity of who I really was with me at all times. Or maybe it was a warning that I could grow up to be just like him…

A knock comes from my door with a slightly creaking following closely after. "May I come in?"

I turn and nod. Kakashi walks in and sits next to me on the bed. "Looking for someone?"

"Yeah…"

A hand rest on my shoulder and I turn, seeing a sympathetic look in Kakashi's dark eyes. "Hikaru… I'm sorry I hid it from you for so long."

"It's alright," I give him a small smile in an attempt to hide the small pain I feel inside, "You were trying to protect me…"

It hurt so much knowing this man wasn't my real father and that we weren't related at all. He stood by my side, teaching me all I needed to know since before I could remember. He played both mother and father, and honestly turned out to be the best friend who I could rely on with anything. He was a teammate to a distant relative to mine and the teacher to my biological father. Honestly, I would have to say he was the greatest man alive.

I turn back towards the window and look outside, waiting. "Think he'll come by today."

"I don't know Hikaru…"

Silence begins to fill the air and eventually Kakashi gets up and leaves me be. I think he knows that I need to be alone with this, and I don't really want to talk to anyone now. Honestly, it's taking all my strength not to locate this man right now and punch him as hard as I can in the face.

Night falls and he still hasn't come. I feel weird from not moving at all yet still can't seem to force myself to leave my bed. I just continue to watch the people go by. Maybe they think I'm weird; the boy sitting staring out his window all day. Their right though, I am a weird child.

"Not moving isn't very healthy…"

I jump a bit and look around, not seeing where the voice came from. I hear the faint sound of footsteps from above me and poke my head outside. I will myself to get up and climb to the roof. I'm just greeted by a cool breeze, the bright moon and the stars that twinkle and dance around it. No one is there. It was as if I had imagined the voice. But I know I heard it so clearly as if there was someone there talking to me. As if I was with someone close by. No one is around though; maybe I'm just going crazy.

Hopping down, I jump back through my window and walk towards the door. I'm sure the entire village can hear just how loud my stomach is growling, begging for food. I haven't been able to convince myself to eat today no matter how much Kakashi has tried to get me to leave my room. "_Maybe he'll come by tomorrow…_"

"Look who decided to leave their room today." Kakashi says as I enter the kitchen.

There's a plate on the table for both of us as well as one willed with onigiri. A small plate is placed next to mine filled with tomato slices and carrot sticks. I sat with a small smile on my face. Kakashi always made pickled plum origini with tomato slices and carrot sticks when I was in a bad mood. And as usual, the entire meal was delicious. He laughed as I scarfed down my food. "Slow down Hikaru or you'll make yourself sick."

I helped clear the dishes and I made a pot of green tea for the both of us. We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"No luck huh?"

I shake my head and take a sip from my tea. "Not today. Maybe tomorrow or something though."

"Why don't you just go to him instead of waiting for him to come to you?"

I fidget with my cup a bit before taking another sip, letting the hot liquid burn my throat slightly. "No… Not yet at least."

Kakashi nods and that's the end of that conversation. He does end up convincing me to go get some things from the convenience store down the road to grab something small for the house.

I walk in, waving at the old man behind the register before heading to the back of the store. The store was relatively new; something added when the village started modernizing a bit more. It had a tile floor instead of a wooden one like most stores did, the walls were cement as well. The whole front was a giant window that just had a large magazine rack running below it. In the back there was a bunch of different drinks; the aisles had different sweets and chips lined up. I grabbed two cans of tomato juice for me and Kakashi two cans of black coffee. He wasn't too much of a fan of sweet things. On the other hand, I had a bit of a sweet tooth that wanted to be satisfied right now. I grabbed a small container of green tea ice cream and another of sweet red bean. Walking to the front I made sure to grab a small bag of chips as well.

It probably wasn't the best idea for me to go shopping when I was still a bit hungry.

I hear the door open as I finished paying and turned, holding the bags in my hand. There he stands, the man I have been waiting for all day. It was as if the whole place was slowly dark and I can't breathe again. I know what I want to say to him but I can't seem to speak. I feel as if I'm choking. I turn out the door and I run as fast as my legs will carry me, away from the man who might hold all the answers. The only noise around me is the sound of my own feet hitting the ground and I know he wouldn't follow, as if for a second there was even a chance of that, but I still kept running. I don't know why I do but I do. I run all the way to my house and race through the door, closing it behind me and leaning up against it panting. I slide to the floor, welcoming the cold feeling against my palms. I know I'm safe here; I know my fears can't get to me.


	3. Blossom

I end up moving to small task just to distract myself for the upcoming weeks. I help Hinata clean Neji's grave, planting sunflowers around it and sitting with her to pray that he is safe. I help my father clean and organize his office with Shizune, filing away paperwork from the other villages that he had already gotten to and organizing the new pile that he needed to get to. Rock Lee offered to help me with some taijutsu training, which was an entire day that drained me of all of my strength on it's own. How a man of that age can have so much energy and be so youthful was beyond me, but it still amazed me. Finally I helped Sakura clean her home, partly in hopes that I could get something out of her.

Sakura welcomed me with open arms anytime she saw me, much to people's surprise I later learned. She was head over heels in love with my biological father and stayed by his side even though the man was more of a nomad now a days rather than someone who would stay by her side as well. I only came over when Sasuke went on one of his journeys and, by the time I had finished helping out with everyone else, it was one of those times again.

There was a sweet smile on Sakura's face as I entered her home. The smell of apples and spices fills my lungs and I can't help but smile myself. This place always feels like a home away from home to me; Sakura was definitely a mother figure for me. I remember when I was younger I use to run away here thinking that it was so far away from where I needed to be. Now I realized that it's only a few feet away and I was the biggest idiot on this planet. Father still teases me for it on the occasion.

"Hikaru, it's so nice to see you!" Sakura exclaims as she pulls me into a hug.

I return it, resting my head against her and enjoying the warmth. Kakashi wasn't a very huggy type of person as he was just a head pat guy. "Is there anything I can help you with today?"

"Wow the others were right, you are in a helpful mood this week!"

Tsk… So it did end up getting to her… Oh boy she probably knows somethings up…

"Yeah," I rubbed the back of my head a bit, "I've been trying to do something between missions. It's been awhile since I got my last one."

"That's true; but after what Kakashi told you I'm sure you understand why he might want to keep you occupied at home for a bit."

"I don't really get it…"

Sakura gave me a sympathetic smile as she reached forward, petting my hair a bit. "Well I'm sorry but I don't have anything for you to do here today besides join me with a cup of tea and a small snack."

She turns from me and walks towards the kitchen, meaning that she isn't giving me an option to say no. She's going to want to talk to me about this. It makes me relax a bit.

Good I don't need to bring this up out of the blue…

I place my shoes at the entrance was and walk inside, heading back towards the kitchen. It's a small little nook with a square table with four placemats on it. It folds out to accommodate six but it can get a little crowded. Some of my favorite memories are with this group. Some of them even include my biological father.

I sit at the table and Sakura places a cup of green tea in front of me along with a small plate of tomato slices. "So is there something you want to talk about?" Sakura ask as she sits with her own cup of tea.

I sip the tea trying to think of the words to say. "Do you… Do you know my mother by any chance?"

Sakura takes a long sip of her tea before placing it on the table, staring down at the cup. "I don't know much about her. Sasuke might be a better person to ask about it. But I don't think you really want to talk to him right now, do you?"

I shake my head no.

"I didn't think so… It's going to take a while but I'm sure you'll come around to wanting to talk to him. You know he'll listen to you no ma-"

"I don't want to speak to that man… I just… I want to meet her…"

I look up at Sakura, seeing her green eyes staring at me with worry and intent. "You have his eyes…"

I try and smile for her. That's right… This must be hard on her as well…

"I have a lot of things from my father."

Sakura is smiling and I smile with her.

That's right… I should try for her sake…

I stay for awhile, listening to stories of when I was growing up. She reminds me of one Christmas where I was just a little kid. I remember I was such a brat that year because Kakashi had to work late and couldn't come by until it was almost time for bed. Naruto came over and helped me set up the tree, Sakura made cookies and I helped her frost them. But I kept pouting and complaining about Kakashi not being there. Sasuke eventually walked in and I remember freaking out a bit because I didn't recognize him and yet he looked too familiar. Sakura and Naruto welcomed him with hugs but I ran into my room and slammed the door, refusing to come out with a stranger there until Kakashi got home.

Sakura tried and tried to get me to leave my room but I refused over and over again.

"Hikaru please come out of there. I'll make you tea and tomato slices."

"No! Not until daddy gets home!"

"What's wrong Hikaru?" Naruto tried.

"There's a stranger there!"

It had taken them over an hour before they gave up. I just went to my window and looked up at the sky, wishing on the stars that I would be able to see Kakashi soon. That's when the stranger had jumped up, landing next to me on the windowsill and walking in. I remember being so amazed yet mad that he just waltzed into my room without my permission. Looking back on it, he was technically my father so I wouldn't of had any right to turn him away.

"What's wrong, Hikaru? The other's are worried."

"How do you know my name?"

"Your father has told me a lot about you. You're quite the remarkable young boy!" A smirk played on Sasuke's face as he reached forward and messed up my hair. "Come on. How about we go downstairs and join the others and I'll tell you a bit about myself."

Later that week I had found out that he was a criminal my father had pardon because he helped our village out in the war. I found out what had happened to his family and how he had gone mad. I remember feeling sorry for him.

Now… Now I don't think it was possible for me to feel sorry for that man anymore.


End file.
